We had arranged an 8 am Tuk Tuk ride for our last full day in Siem Reap…to travel street level, open air to our favourite temple, Angkor Thomb. It is not as grand as Angkor Wat, but it has all those wonderful faces beaming down on you, and the carvings and storytelling on the walls is beyond amazing.

Our driver, Paul, ( at least that’s what we heard…sorry Paul)….picked us up a couple minutes to….and off we went. Down the Main Street, divided into 3….two outsides lanes for Tuk Tuks and scooters, and two centre lanes for cars and trucks… but it’s kind of like the Pirates code….those are just guidelines, as pretty much anything goes.

We turn off the main drag and onto narrow local roads, dug up, or maybe never paved….with bare bum little kids playing street side as their siblings head off on bikes to school.

After 20 minutes or so, we arrive…

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And who says those artisans of a thousand years ago didn’t have a sense of humour…( don’t think anyone did….but trying to make a point)…check out this carving of a guy getting bit in the ass by a turtle…and he’s mad….

This last image also contains a sense of humour….perhaps as much our guide (Lin), as the original carvers. Lin said, “ there are 69 monkeys in this image….start counting from the top right, and move left….”

He started to count….”1, 2, 3…

…4, 5…69…”

We have found nothing but smiling, friendly people on this trip….so not surprising that since this was built, and through a thousand years of incredible, unimaginable ups and downs…Cambodians maintain that sense of wonder and humour…

I mean really, a turtle biting a guys ass…bringing smiles to monks and kings alike for over a millennium…it says it all.

…and don’t even get me started on the monkeys….

Putting aside the 95 degree heat (‘feels like’ well over a 100 with humidity…who am I kidding…. it ‘feels like’ a fucking furnace…) this part of Cambodia is truly amazing.

Tomb Raider, Raiders-Temple of Doom…you’ve seen the magic of Angkor Wat in films….. the ancient 1000 year old massive Temple, amd surrounding structures is a scale and majesty unmatched….and to hammer the film allure even more….on our sunrise sojourn… a Steven Spielberg sighting…for real.

We were up at 4…off to Angkor for the 6:40 sunrise….and it was well worth the lack of sleep. We were a bit concerned by low clouds, but eventually the sun broke thru just after 7…just as Steven walked the bridge with his briefcase and entourage….I heard him say, “cue the sun”…..and out it popped.

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The scale of Angkor is daunting…over a kilometre in each direction…..with a moat surrounding….all hand dug…the depth and breadth of the creative and engineering accomplishments is beyond comprehension. To raise some of the stone work to the top of the Stupa’s ( towers)…..elephants were pulling pulley ropes over a mile away.

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Hanoi…amazing. Never seen anything like it.

Imagine you are standing at the edge of a fast moving stream…you throw in a rock, and watch as the fast moving water now flows seamlessly around the rock…..this is Hanoi…where crossing the street can be a hilight of your day…it’s that much of an experience.

One night we did a walking tour of local foods…..which was delicious…..but one stop was to a local coffee house….in a narrow hallway, up a few flights of questionable stairs…..and into a small room which is packed with locals ( no one else could find it) and had an awesome local creation….Egg Coffee. Invented by the little girl in the photos dad…long since gone now….but he created a delightful mix of coffee and egg ( think meringue)…..which is light and fluffy and delicious….and cheap at $15,000 dong…or about $1.20…Starbucks, eat your hearts out.

Our guide called us her sticky rice family….so every time we had to cross a road…..she told us to stick together like sticky rice and follow closely…..and that stream parted, then re-connected again seamlessly…..just like the stream around the stone.

You know….I’m not even going to bullshit you…..we’ve been so busy, so hot and sticky…..just didn’t feel like the blog life….but as I sit here in the amazing Continental Hotel Saigon…there are three Ferrari’s parked out front….and bad wi-fi is no longer an excuse.

All this to say, the blog may be a bit helter skelter from now on, as we begin the back nine of the journey.

Yesterday we fled Hanoi hours before King Trump was to land…..and the city that is always on high energy, notched it up to 14 in anticipation.

We were a bit late leaving Hanoi….probably because of increased security for Trump…but we made it to Saigon by 5 or so….and almost immediately headed out on a Cyclo-tour.

This city is so different to Hanoi…..where Hanoi is hectic, frenetic, old and by comparison poor, but very charming….Saigon is new, young and cosmopolitan by comparison…city mouse, country mouse….each with around 10 million people each.

Leaving the linen and silk of the hotel behind, we ventured out today to see the tunnels the Viet Cong and the Geurillas fought from. Needless to say, there is a lot of war related tourism, and although relations with the Americans has been repaired…it is still difficult and a painful part of history to re-live for all. This country has been invaded and in wars for what seems most of its life…it is just tragic these people have known such little peace, and yet they seem happy and willing to share all ( or almost all) experiences.

We were contemplating if we should support an elephant….anything…..just on moral grounds….but in the end, after a bit of research ( and pictures of elephants) we were highly reassured by their name….”Elephant Sanctuary”, so we signed up with 3 others and were headed into the countryside with both a tinge of excitement and remorse…

We had stopped on the way to pick up 3 other elephant lovers, a mom and two twenty something daughters….. ( who were 20 minutes late, as one daughter was ‘ in toilet’……) so we arrived after an hour or so of white knuckle driving down highway and country roads at the same speed……and pulled into a little green valley….somewhat excited, mainly just to be alive.

Any reservations about the place simply melted away when we were introduced to our Greenpeace guide for the day….( real name)…’Machete’…who is apparently on a work loan from the El Guapo organization.

Upon arriving, Machete gave us a change of clothes and a duffle bag and said not to tell anyone about it, not even our family….or……

…kidding…..but as we were putting on the work clothes, we heard a ruckus from the 3 others we had picked up at another hotel. They wanted to leave, and their money back….and we hadn’t been there 5 minutes. The mom interrupted our briefing and demanded her money back….very loud, very rude…( I won’t say where they were from….but we think Italy)….anyway, the 4 hours we were there, they argued….and left 10 minutes before us….

Clearly, they did not learn the subtleties of Carpe Diem….

I find that since I’m taking most of the pics, when I am in one….I like to look as good as possible….a bit vain that way I guess….so I’m especially proud of this pic…

After we donned our Armani burlap suits….it was awesome…Machete proved a perfect host, to us, and his three charges….two pregnant moms, and a lively 4 year old boy.

We fed, muddied and bathed them……and they kind of did the same for us….and at the end of the day, we were all a bit better for the encounter.

…except the Italians.

(With Acknowledgements to Sunita for the title….our wonderful cohort from Manhattan)…as it perfectly sums up the day.

I am just resurfacing from 3 days without wifi, so will try to catch up…but don’t expect any Shakespeare, or dick pics ( seldom hear those two in the same sentence anymore….funny…)…..and I am finding out what kind of blogger I am….a bad one….so my pictures will try to tell the story that the words don’t.

We have left the high energy of Bangkok, and travelled to Chang Mai, and immediately notice a slower, less frenetic pace….as this is a village ‘of only a million or so’…..but what a great pace.

Our day begins with an introduction to our morning host, Yuan Nee….who would take us to the market to pick up some items for us to cook at her house for a local home cooked meal.

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We are escorted to the local market, where we are ushered in for a bit of a tour…as well as an education, of sorts.

…and yes, the answer is, we are now travelling with a bag of 12 frogs in Carry on….tomorrow we’re taking them to the zoo.

Now, on to the cooking class held in Yuan Nee’s family home.

EAT.

That took us to apres lunch….which meant we had been some time without a monk sighting…so off we go to another ancient temple…..?……name to be recalled later……

We drive out of the city, up a nearby mountain, to arrive at the bottom of 300 steps….leading to an amazing view.

PRAY.

Then, to wrap up a great, but full, day……a few of us head up to the night market, and Ladyboy club…..to catch some of the local flavour….

LOVE.

…AND LOVE THY NEIGHBOUR.

This was a travel day, from our idyllic beach paradise in Koh Samui, to the crowded, hectic city of of 8 million….Bangkok. We meet our wonderful tour group, and our bundle of Buddhist energy, Channy.

He is maybe slightly over 5 ft tall, but his heart is equally as large…..and he is a mother to is all, and we instantly love him for it. We are joined by 4 other Canadians, 1 German, and 9 Americans….which makes, for an interesting mix….meant in the best way.

Early dinner, early night, as next day was a full day.

The next morning, as everyone is still learning names, we load into shuttles and head off to have a quick canal tour of Bangkok…with the payoff a trip to the Grand Palace….which lives up to its name.

The Grand Palace was built for the Royal Family in 1782. The Palace grounds, ( which are massive….over 200,000 sq meters, and is surrounded by a perimeter wall that stretches 1.2 miles in each direction.)…and once housed royal residences, government buildings and temples.

Just think, when you’re looking at these images, whatever you see that looks gold, is actually gold leaf……its real gold….it ain’t Benjamin Moore “Golden Ponds”

The title for this post is from a sign I saw on Koh Samui…..and I thought it was appropriately Zen enough for a page full of temples…..

You had me at Dick……

More on that a bit later….but first, our last full day in Koh Samui. We wanted to do something we regretted not doing in the past, which is hiring a local guide to tour us around and give us the insight only a local can…enter, Chow. Chow is a local driver who has three kids, a wife who manages their fruit farm on the mainland ( where he will retire…too expensive on Koh Samui…on retirement, they get a govt pension of 600 Baht a month….enough for about one meal)….and he proved a wonderful ambassador for local culture.

He started off heading south around the island…which he said would take approx. one hour to circumnavigate with no traffic….we did it in 6, which was just about right for sight seeing and an awesome local lunch.

The day was full of temples and insight into the culture and religion at the core of this amazing island, and below is a smattering of some of the most memorable, and photogenic.

BUT, one of the most interesting stops of the day, was to visit the much beloved island patriarchs, Grandma and Grandpa rocks. This place was packed…all of us clamouring over the rocks for the best vantage points. If you read the story below, it sounds kind of folksy and romantic, Parents making the ultimate sacrifice for their sons true love….all good, right?

So, maybe some nice silhouettes, perhaps, to commemorate this lovely couple and their love for their son….maybe a miraculous natural tribute in granite…right? Or, au naturel….

Ok…maybe not Michaelangelo’s David, but hey, God was at least giving it a go here….the well regarded Old Grandpa….

Believe me when I say… and I can’t emphasize this enough, you should all be very, very thankful, that it was high tide….and Grandma was…indisposed.

Because words, and especially my words…cannot describe the amazing beauty of the Ang Thong National Marine Park….about an hour speedboat ride away. Full day….but what a spectacular Valentines Day….

WANTED: Electricians.

Absolutely no experience necessary. In fact, it might even work against you….

Must be good at Jenga and Snakes and Ladders ( but watch for snake on ladder please).

If you are looking for a medium to slow paced career in slinging high voltage cables in places they really should not be, interviews will be held at a pole near you soon. Just wait…be patient.